Dear Santa

Dear Santa -

First of all, love you!  Love.  I invoke your name at least a couple of times a day now that Christmas is approaching.  I gotta admit, "Remember, Santa won't bring you any presents if you are naughty!" is working a lot better than "Because I said so!"  However....

I had no idea how many details of your life I am supposed to be familiar with.  I really could use a study guide or something if you have one.  In years past, I got by on the basics pretty well. (You know, Santa is that guy beard with the white who lives at the North Pole and brings presents on Christmas Eve, but only if you are good.)  All the information I needed could be found in "The Night Before Christmas" or "Santa Claus is Comin' To Town."  But this year, Arden is five years old, and she wants a little more info.  And, if I don't know the answer to a question, she looks at me like I must be some kind of idiot.  So, if you could please answer the following questions for me, I would really appreciate it:

• What is Mrs. Santa Claus' first name?
• Do you have any kids?  If so, how many?  How old are they?  Any grandkids?
• What do the reindeer eat?
• Do you have any pets?
• Do you help the elves make the toys, or do you just oversee their work?
• How exactly do you know if the kids are being naughty or nice?  (I tried to tell her that the elves sneak around and watch the kids and then report back to you, but that only led to about a hundred more questions about why she has never seen an elf in our house and what she should do if she finds one in her bed)

There are lots, more, but I can't remember them right now...just send the study guide and hopefully it will answer them all.

By the way, Arden is being very nice!  Cora is pretty good too (for the most part).  Dax is having a little bit harder time lately.  Just for an example:  He didn't take a nap today, which always causes his "naughty vs. nice" judgement to be a little off for the rest of the day.  Right around the time he should have been waking up from his refreshing nap, he was running circles around the ottoman in the family room.  Lots of circles.  Then he ran past me and into the playroom, where I didn't hear any sounds for a couple of minutes.  Uh-oh.  Sure enough, Dax had had a little accident.  I quickly rushed him off to the bathroom so he could finish what he had started.   I ran upstairs to get a change of pants, and on my way I noticed that Cora was up from her nap.  I went into her room to get her and noticed she needed her diaper changed, so I started working on that.

As I was finishing up with Cora's diaper, Arden ran up the stairs and said to me, "Mom, you better come down and look at the bathroom.  Uhhhhhhh-oooooooh. 

The bathroom....was flooded.  Dax had apparently emptied the entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet and then flushed it as many times as he possibly could.  I grabbed the towels off the rack and started mopping it up, but there was a LOT of water.  I grabbed my sweet little boy and took him up to his room and told him he better stay in there, grabbed about six more towels out of the closet and ran back downstairs.  I fixed up the toilet and then Arden helped me wipe up the huge mess.  I ran back upstairs and started putting the towels in the washer.  Right about this time, I heard a huge "BANG!" coming from Daxton's room.  What the Wha???

After I got the washer on, I went to investigate.  He had taken his laundry hamper and thrown it against the wall, and it was now broken in several places.  As I sat down to see if I could fix it, I told Daxton that when I was done I was going to call you on the phone and let you know what he had been up to (as if you didn't already know).  Arden.  Was.  Horrified.  She begged me not to call you, Santa, little tears forming in her eyes at the thought of her brother on the dreaded Naughty List.   She ran out of the room while I finished fiddling with the hamper, but I soon gave up trying to fix it.  I went to see where Arden had gone, and I found her in her closet, trying to hide every phone in the house so that I would not be able to call you.  I laughed so hard, it almost made me forget how angry I was at Daxton.  But not quite. 

I brought Arden and Dax downstairs and found Cora coloring on her new shirt with a permanent marker that I had asked Arden to put away earlier....but that is another story.  And FYI, Dax was a VERY good boy for the rest of the day.

So, dear Santa, Dax is running at about 51% naughty, 49% nice right now, but hopefully with enough reminders about your imminent visit, those percentages will change significantly in favor of the "nice" before you give your list that final check. 

See you soon!  Love,

Chrystie

P.S. I will be looking forward to the answers to my above questions.  As soon as possible.  Please.
P.P.S. I have been a very good girl this year!  Are your elves good at making boots?