I was on the treadmill. I had a goal. I was going to run MORE than 6.2 miles in 60 minutes. I HAD to do it. I HAD to. Why you ask?
To beat a 60-year-old grandpa.
My dad has become quite a runner in the last few years, and has completed several half-marathons. My little sister just ran the Salt Lake half marathon last weekend (GO VAL!). My other sister has also also done a few. This causes some problems for me. It brings out two conflicting sides of my nature:
1- I don’t want to do a half marathon. I am far too much of a wuss.
2- By nature, I am a very competitive girl. If you ever play any sort of board game with me, you will find this out.
I must admit that sometimes my competitive side rises up and tells me that I should PROVE that I can run just as far and fast as my sisters and my dad. The problem is, I probably can’t, at least not without a bunch of training. And the truth is that at this point in my life I just don't have the motivation to try.
I do run. Just not long distances. A couple of times a week after the kids are asleep I pick a show off of my nearly-full DVR and run on my treadmill while watching it. But I always run 3 miles or so.
Why 3 miles?
After 3 miles, I am tired and want to stop. So I do. Also, the half-hour long TV show is over because I skipped through the commercials.
A couple of weeks ago I was at my parents’ house, and my dad mentioned that he had run 6.2 miles in 60 minutes on his treadmill that day. I thought to myself, “If I wanted to, I could do that too! I just don’t want to!” Then the other day I decided to watch part of a Biggest Loser episode while running on the treadmill. This is the first year I have watched that show. I started watching because one of this years’ contestants used to live in my neighborhood.
Anyway…the show is 2 HOURS LONG. Every week. Even if I skip all of the commercials AND the blatant product-placement segments AND the annoying scale that takes forever to actually weigh anyone, it still takes about an hour to watch. (I am a few weeks behind. Product placement in last night's episode? The movie “HOP”…I skipped through around 10 full minutes of the show where ALL they talked about was the cute little Easter Bunny movie. Seriously? What does the Easter Bunny have to do with losing weight? NOTHING. The Easter Bunny = Cadbury Eggs = crazy delish = can’t stop = the OPPOSITE of losing weight. But I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, skipping through the Biggest Loser.) I had finished my 3 miles and was about to stop. I turned down the speed and started walking. But then the competitive side of me stepped in and said, “You should try to run 6.2 miles in less than an hour so you can beat your dad! I thought about it. The Biggest Loser still had a long way to go. Preston was out of town. The kids were sleeping peacefully. I had nothing better to do. I decided I would stay on the treadmill and see if I could beat grandpa.
The second half-hour I was on the treadmill seemed a LOT longer than the first half-hour. By the end, I had to slowed down my pace considerably and decreased the incline ALL the way down to 1.5. But: SUCCESS! I did 6.3 miles in 60 minutes! See, I win! In this very narrow contest (and in no other), I CAN beat a 60-year old grandpa at running! And I learned two important things:
1- If you are on a TV program where the object is to lose weight, you shouldn’t pound a whole bag of tortilla chips in your room at night. Especially when there are cameras in your room to catch you scarfing said chips and broadcast your transgressions to all of America.
2- I really, truly am too big of a wuss to do a half marathon. This is what would happen to me right about mile 7:
Kudos to all of you runners out there! You are amazing.