The First Day of First Grade for my First First Grader

The day had finally come.  The day that Arden and I had been both dreading and anticipating for weeks and months was finally here.  The first day of FIRST grade. 

 

The first day of first grade for my first first grader! 

 

Arden LOVED kindergarten, but she was a little nervous for first grade.  She knew that she had to stay at school "all day," and even eat lunch there.  That is still weird for me to think about.  Arden eats one of her meals at school, completely away from me.  I am not there to make sure she eats her fruit or vegetables before she eats her cookie!  Who is going to make sure she does that?  What if she gets hungry before lunchtime, she usually has a mid-morning snack!  And an afternoon snack!  What if she gets hungry before its time to come home?  What if she is too hot?  What if she gets thirsty? What if some punk kid is mean to her at recess?  What if she falls down and scrapes her knee and I am not there to put on a band aid and kiss it better? What if she doesn't like her teacher?  What if...?!

 

Okay, so maybe Arden wasn't the only one who was a little nervous. 

 

Luckily, we were too busy the last week before school to stress about it too much, and suddenly it was almost time to go.  I made Arden stop to take a couple of pictures before we ran out the door.  She is so big!

And so beautiful!

 I double checked to make sure she had a water bottle in her backpack in case she got thirsty and I snuck in some fruit snacks for her and told her if she was hungry she could grab them and eat them at recess.  Here she is, getting ready to walk into school!

We wandered around until we found her classroom.  Her teacher handed each kid a little water bottle and a package of fruit snacks as they came in.  Seeing that made me hopeful that I was leaving my Arden in some good hands.  We found her seat and she settled in for another picture. 

Soon a couple of kids showed up who sat at her table.  It was funny because none of the three kids at this table had any front teeth.  I should have taken a picture of that but I didn't.

Anyway, the bell rang and I told Arden that I had to go but I would pick her up after school.  She said "okay."  I told her I loved her and she squeaked "I love you too!" and started to cry a little.  I gave her a big hug, told her not to cry and to have a good day.  I gave her a big smile and waved as I walked out the door.

Then I boobed it all the way down the hall and out to the parking lot.

Of course on the way out I saw like 27 moms I know and they were all like, "Are you okay?" or "Oh, are you sad?"  I know that I would have been fine if Arden had smiled as I left her, but since she was crying I was a wreck.

I worried all day.  Was she still crying?  Why was she crying?  Is she okay?  The school doesn't have air conditioning, is she too hot?  What if some punk kid is mean to hear at recess?  What if she falls down and scrapes her knee...well, you get the picture.

After a long day it was finally time to go and pick her up.  Of course, she was fine.  She said she wasn't too hot, she wasn't hungry, she wasn't thirsty and no one was mean to her at recess, and her knees were fine.  But she did say that school was too LONG, and she wished she was back in kindergarten, and she didn't want to go back tomorrow. 

Of course, she had to go back the next day.  I talked school up like crazy all night and the next morning, and told her how pretty soon she would get used to staying all day.  The next morning I walked her to where her class lines up outside this time.  The bell rang again.  I gave her quick hug, and the tears welled up in her eyes as she turned to go.  Ohmygosh, I CANNOT handle this.  It seriously was hurting my heart so much to leave her there again.  But of course, what choice do I have?  (Home school?  Yeah, right.)

Again, she was fine when she got home (except she sat on my lap and snuggled me for a solid hour when she got home).  I talked to her about it, and she said she likes her teacher fine and she has friends in her class and at recess, but "School is too long and I miss my mama."  (Oh, that makes me so happy and so so sad!)  She said she didn't want to go back the next day.  Again, the next morning, off she had to go. 

This time, we just did the regular drop off line and she just jumped out of the car with the other kids I car pool to school.  "Love you, Arden!" I called after her.  "Love you, mom!" again, squeaking, again, crying a little again as she ran up the stairs to her line.  Seriously, I am going to DIE. 

Now it has been two full weeks of school, and luckily Arden no longer is crying in the morning (and consequently neither am I), and she seems to be settling in a little.  She still thinks school is WAY too long.  I kind of agree.  8:45 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. seems long to ME, and I am not the one who is trying to sit still in a little chair and pay attention to a teacher. 

Arden is being so brave and trying her best, but I know she is still having a hard time.  Last night, she had nightmares and talked in her sleep.  This is the first time I ever remember her talking in her sleep.  She mostly just made sad noises, but once in a while she said things like, "I wanna go home!" and "It's too hard!"  My poor baby.  My mom said it usually took her kids about three weeks to settle in to the first grade groove, so hopefully by this time next week there will be smiles every morning and no more bad dreams. 

I miss kindergarten!

Luckily, Cora and Dax are still deep in happy-preschool-land and LOVING it.  More on that later!