The Cast of Eternal Stench

(Bonus points to anyone who knows what I am referencing in the title of this post).

So, remember a few weeks ago when Dax got his cast?  Today was the day when he finally, finally, FINALLY got to get it taken off.

Okay, okay, so it hasn't reeeally been that long.  It has been less than four weeks since he broke his elbow.  So, why all of the hurry to free his arm from the cast?  Let me tell explain...

The cast itself isn't that bad to look at...remember how his whole class signed it?  Pretty cool actually:

It hasn't really even been too much of a hassle.  Seriously, besides the fact that Dax has a hard time getting shirts on and off, it hasn't made too much of a difference in his life at ALL.  He still runs hard, he still plays hard, and he even took his turn as goalie for his soccer team on Saturday (I know, right?  He just kicked the ball away instead of trying to grab it and getting kicked in the cast, thank goodness.  He didn't allow a single goal, in case you were wondering).  Over my objections, Preston even took him on a "very slow" ride on the waverunner last Saturday afternoon at Willard Bay.  Luckily for everyone involved (mostly Preston) Dax didn't get wet, since it was not a waterproof cast.

However, since Dax hasn't slowed down much means his cast has kind of paid the price....the white part that peeks out from underneath was now more of a funky greyish yellowish color.  Some of the names were wearing off.  And...most importantly...

That.  Cast.  STANK.

It didn't stink.  It STANK.  It was STANKY.  I noticed it about a week and a half into cast-ness, after a hot day.  Dax's hair was pretty messed up after school, so I could tell he had sweated off his hair gel during recess (sidenote:  Can anyone recommend a hair gel that will withstand a 3 recesses of 6-year old playing?).  As I put him in bed that night, I caught a whiff of something that smelt like...well, feet.  Only worse.  

Dax had just had a bath, so I checked his feet to try and figure out how they could smell like that.  They were fine and sweet-smelling (well, as sweet-smelling as 6-year-old feet can be, anyway).  Then when my nose moved past his arm again, it dawned on me.  It wasn't feet I was smelling.  It was unwashed, closed in, sweaty dirty CAST.  I got a washcloth and cleaned his hand off as best I could, but it didn't help.  The stank was coming from deep within the cast.  Yay.

As the days went on, the smell did not improve.  It wasn't noticeable unless the cast was very near your face, but if it did get near your face, boy howdy, look OUT.  It was foul.  I mentioned to Dax a few days ago how excited I was to throw his cast in the garbage, and he started to whine about how he wanted to keep it as a souvenir.  Um, sorry dude.  I can't think of any possible scenarios where that is going to occur.  He asked me why, and so I told Dax to try to smell his cast.  He got his hand as close to his face as he could....it was close enough.  He took a whiff, then pulled a face and said, "Ew" in a way that would make Jimmy Fallon proud.  Amen, my son.  Ew.

This morning as I was helping Dax into his shirt, I mentioned how it would be the last time we would have to fit it around his cast!  He looked a little sad, but he no longer asked if he could keep the cast forever and ever.  If a smell is repugnant to a first-grade boy, you know it can't be good.  

Dax was a little concerned about HOW they were going to get the cast off.  He told me he thought they would have to use a hammer.  I told him no, they have a special "pizza cutter" thing they use (carefully avoiding the word "saw").  He wasn't scared at all as they cut that thing off (though the guy cutting it off looked a little concerned about what he might find growing up inside of there).

When they finally cracked the cast open and cut off all the padding, there was nothing but a skinny arm inside.  Well, and some sand.  It was a very dirty, nappy, malodorous, dead-skin kind of skinny arm, though.

The doctor showed Dax the gross interior of his cast, said something like, "wow, look at that," and quickly tossed it into the garbage chute.  Bless you, sir, for not asking us if we wanted to keep it. 

I got the go-ahead from the doctor and immediately drug Dax over to the sink and used up half a bottle of soap scrubbing the gunk off there.  

Ahhhhh...

The sweet smell of non-stank.