Around 5:00 a.m. on January 5, I heard my phone text alert go off around 5:00 a.m., and I knew in my heart what the text was saying. I gradually built up my courage and finally read the text from my brother Dan, "I am saddened to report that Brynn passed away about 15 minutes ago. Memorial service will likely be Saturday, January 13. Thanks for all of your support past, present and future"
My brother Dan, he has a way with words. All the time. He also wrote Brynn's obituary:
Brynn Marie Haun, 15, passed away on January 5, 2018, in her home surrounded by her loving family, after a battle with Ewing's sarcoma. Brynn was born on July 29, 2002, to Daniel W. and Lori (Jones) Haun in St. Louis, Missouri. She attended Parkway West High School, where she was a member of the tennis team and in the chamber choir. She was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints where she was active in seminary and the Young Women program, earning her Young Womanhood Award.
Brynn loved her family. She enjoyed watching Harry Potter movies with her brothers, playing board games, and sometimes just hanging out. She was the organized one of the family, making packing lists for family trips and PowerPoint presentations to get her point across.
She loved her friends most of all. She enjoyed spending time with them, hanging out at each other's houses, planning parties and get-togethers, going to dance classes or playing tennis together, or at the end, watching movies together.
Music was another passion of Brynn's. She played the piano, teaching herself how to play some of her favorite songs. She taught herself the ukulele and would play and sing to herself in her room. She loved musical theater. She was a superfan of Hamilton: An American Musical before most people had even heard of it. The same could be said for Dear Evan Hansen. It was a dream of hers to see both of these productions live, which she was able to do. She loved the Lumineers, Imagine Dragons, Panic! At the Disco, Twenty-one Pilots, and Saint Motel.
Brynn is survived by her mother Lori and her father Dan, and her three brothers Kohl (17), Chase (12) and Drake (9). She is also survived by her beloved cats Louie, Rico, and Penny.
It was horrible news, but not unexpected, as poor Brynn had been fading slowly away for weeks. Some part of me was happy for Brynn that her terrible suffering was finally over. She had been through unbelievable pain, and now she was finally free of all of that. However, my heart hurt even worse for Dan and Lori, whose suffering was nowhere near finished. I can't even fathom what it must be like to lose your very own sweet, beautiful daughter:
As mentioned above, "Hamilton" was one of Brynn's favorite things. One of the songs from that play fits so well:
"There are moments that the words don't reach
There is suffering to terrible to name
You hold your child as tight as you can
And push away the unimaginable.
There are moments when you're in so deep
It seems easier to just swim down.
(You must) learn to live with the unimaginable."
It is unimaginable that this has happened. I still can't wrap my mind around it sometimes.
Goodnight, sweet Brynn. I know you are somewhere running and dancing with the wind in your hair.
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